From the very beginning, God saw fit for man to not be alone. The Father created Adam and Eve and told them to be fruitful and multiply. God is invested in and greatly desires family, fellowship and communion. The family unit is very important. Natural and spiritual family is vital. It has been the Father’s design from before He breathed life into dust.
koinōnía – properly, what is shared in common as the basis of fellowship (partnership, community).
Healthy family and fellowship brings security, identity, love, acceptance, growth and much more. I don’t believe isolation was ever the Father’s plan. He wants a body, joined, unified and that knows it’s need for each other. Every part is important and honored.
1 Corinthians 12:12 The body is a unit, though it is comprised of many parts. And although its parts are many, they all form one body. So it is with Christ.
Love, His love, joins us together in Him.
There are many definitions and pictures of what “family” looks like in this time that we live in. Many people are living in broken homes, failing marriages, with indecorous children. Families now a days, have to deal with things that our grandparents probably never would have even spoken of.
We live in a time where girls are constantly comparing their selves to center folds, where boys have to be macho, if not they are labeled “gay”, where we don’t even know what bathroom to use. Kids question their sexuality more than ever because of all their little ears and eyes are exposed to. We live in a time where political correctness and tolerance of everything that feels good is accepted and encouraged.
These things could become our focus as they slap us in the face every day, every time we wake up and watch the news, every time we walk into a public place, it can’t be ignored. Yet, there’s a greater way, there’s a greater way to see ourselves and others. There are families, communities, the body and bride of Christ that is rising up in love and becoming all that the Father intended from the very beginning. In the face of it all, we see His face and things are changing because we rightly see our faces, mirrored in Christ Jesus.
Our identity as sons and daughters is coming to the forefront and the true definition of masculinity and femininity is being restored back to the garden. Geninue relationship, koinonia, through Holy Spirit is bringing forth our true identity, as sons.
I believe this is truly on the Father’s heart, to restore identity and family, ones in the home and outside of it.
Malachi 4:6 “And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers…”
Family is much bigger and more important than we realize. Whether you know it or not, there is a deep longing inside of you for family, for connection and community, for brother and sisterhood, for someone to understand you, encourage and love you.
The Lord wants to open our hearts for others to find their home there with us. That we would truly hold others in our hearts and He would continue to expand our hearts to hold our cities, communities, states, and nations. I’m not just speaking of these as places but the people within them, including those who aren’t like you. That they would find their home in Him and in us, where His Kingdom and His righteousness would be restored, in His people.
Family, koinonia, is a place where there’s open hearts, open ears, freedom to share and speak their hearts, with no fear of judgment. It’s a place (not necessarily a physical place) but an open heart, where people can be fully themselves. Love reigns in family. Each part completely connected to the Father and Son, through Holy Spirit. Christ in you the hope of glory, truly revealed and unveiled.
This must first start in us, for our identity as sons and daughters to be planted deep within us and for us to grow into full mature sons. This must be our starting place, our true identity in Him, not shaken by anything.
This is also true for our children. We as a whole, have parented our children from an orphan mentality. So it just creates this cycle of producing more children with orphan spirits, because we ourselves don’t understand that we are sons and daughters and that we have received the Spirit of adoption where we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
True identity is restored in family, where love is the key and Jesus is the center.
As parents, this can be challenging with all that kids face these days and all that the world tries to say that they are. Thank God for His grace through this process in us and our family. Thank you Lord that You are restoring pure masculinity and femininity, which is totally different than what’s been portrayed.
Let me open my heart even wider to you.
Two years ago, my son was in a very desperate and tender place. He’s only ten now and for years the world had tried to label him, to tell him who he was based on things he liked to do. He’s a creative soul. He loves to dance, draw, sing. He’s dramatic and expressive.
As a young boy, he liked lots of things that were considered “girl things”. He was with me a lot because his daddy worked in law enforcement. At the age of two, he always wanted to dress like a girl. I tried to ignore it, but honestly, I began to get concerned. I would try to shun him away from things that were stereotypically for girls. At the time I was still dealing with my own identity issues and didn’t know how to respond with the Father’s heart.
I remember at the age of about six, he came home asking me what the word “gay” meant. I proceeded to tell him that God says the word, “gay” means happy. He said, “Momma, I don’t think that’s what those boys meant when they called me that.” Classmates constantly called him a “girl”, even adults would unknowingly say things that referred to him as being “girly” in his nature and mannerisms. Little pictures have big ears and hearts that can break.
Through these years, the Lord was establishing my identity in Him. I’m so thankful for that because, I was able to speak truth into him, to drown out the lies that had began to take root. I won’t forget the night that my son laid in bed crying out to God, asking God why he felt like he was a girl. Almost shouting with sobbing tears. Seeing him this way, ripped my heart out. He told me he knew that he was a boy but he felt like he was a girl, because he liked “girl” things. I told him that God made him a boy and that it was ok that he liked girl things, that didn’t make him a girl. I told him that he was very much a boy, created by God. I cried with him that night, held him and loved him.
I was completely desperate for an answer from the Lord on what to do and how to handle this situation, as I believe many parents face this same thing today. This is why I share this experience that happened two years ago, to give you hope and a new vision.
A week before this had happened, I saw a vision of a Mama bird eating and reguritating up her food and feeding her baby bird in the nest. I didn’t know at the time what it meant, so I just held it in my heart. I trusted that the Lord would show me the meaning. That night, I laid flat on my face, sobbing before the Lord. I was immediately in the spirit and was taken to the courts of heaven. I began to repent for all the fear that I had of my son not being all that the Lord had designed him to be, all the lies that I had believed. Everything that Holy Spirit brought to my mind to repent of, I did.
Then the Lord held up a scroll that had my son’s name on it and I saw ALL that he was created to be. I saw words like, “Worshipping warrior, artist, creator, inventor, father, musician, sensitive heart, most importantly My son”…..the list went on and on. The Lord said, “I want you to eat this scroll and regurgitate it back up and feed it to your son. I want him to know ALL I created him to be.” I saw the vision of the Mama bird feeding her baby bird. This was me, this was him, this was us.
From that moment on, everything changed. This was holy beautiful masculinity being fully restored, for my son. I saw my son through the eyes of the Father. I saw all that the Lord said He would be. Nothing can any longer shift my view of my son and what the Lord has planned for him. No longer did I define him by what he liked to play with. I saw him and began to speak into him what the Lord showed me that day. The truth of the words that have since been spoken, have deposited deep within him. He is learning he is a son. He is learning to not be ashamed. He is fully male. He knows how many kids he wants one day and the type of woman he will marry.
I could have cowered in fear and began to tell him to just live by what felt good to him. This would have been detrimental, throughout his entire life. Many people have experienced this throughout their life and they are still struggling with their identity. Yet, Truth has come in love and he is forever changed.
I feel these things tie in together, with koinonia, with family. As we are learning to engage this culture in our everyday lives, it’s very real, raw, messy, beautiful and…..WORTH IT!
Thankfully my son was comfortable to be himself with me. He was willing to share his feelings and through the grace of our Father, our identity in Him is being rooted in His love and His truth.
The name calling still happens but its gently drowned out by Love. True koinonia drowns out every other thing that doesn’t speak truth, because now Truth sounds more familiar, more like home. Others are crying out for the same thing, for someone to truly see them for who they are and all they were created to be.
I believe this type of family is coming together all over the world. People are desperate, they are crying out to see the Father. People are crying out for connection, for authentic communion and love, for koinonia.
I see you. I believe in you. I receive you, all of you, right where you’re at.