PSA ….this may offend some 🙂 but hear my heart ❤
Have you ever been in a predicament? I mean squeeze your cheeks hard predicament?
I’d say most of us have because let’s be honest, we all have crap, even if we don’t care to admit it. Well let me warn you, this is about to get deep.
Let me say first, this writing may offend you. Some will not get past the title. So that’s my disclaimer but I pray you hear my heart. I am going to be very transparent, it may be funny but it’s real and Holy Spirit gave me a whole message through my bathroom issues while being in the Dominican Republic.
I was backed up for days. You know the feeling. Bloated belly and feeling like you can’t ingest ONE MORE THING or you’ll just explode. Yep, I was there.
Then, in the middle of the night, the sh*t hit the fan! Literally, I woke up with horrible diarrhea. So, yeah, as if that’s not bad enough, I found out during this untimely chain of events that there was no water.
You ever felt that type of panic? I turned that faucet knob in every which way, wishing I was just having a bad dream and I’d wake up and not be on the porcelain throne with no water to flush, in a house full of eleven women and one male security guard, and me with massive diarrhea. I’d be telling a lie if I said I didn’t squint my eyes real hard, hoping I would wake up and just be back in the bed dreaming of sugar plums. Nope, it was real and I was living a nightmare.
I scurried across the floor blurry eyed to the refrigerator to get the last of the drinking water to flush the toilet. I worked so hard and finally got it to flush, only to be back on the toilet about twenty minutes later and now I’d used all the drinking water. Help me Jesus.
Was this really happening? Here I am in a foreign country, with women I don’t really know well, and I get a horrible case of diarrhea. I lost count of how many times I went. I was quickly getting weak.
I began to apologize profusely. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I felt shame try and wrap me up and consume me. Shame is so ugly, shame is so NOT a part of who we are. So I apologized again and my dear sister in Christ, says, “Amanda, you don’t have to apologize. It’s ok, it’s not your fault.” Tears began to fall down my cheeks, she was right.
Brenee’ Brown says this about the difference between guilt and shame, guilt is, “I’ve done something bad”, while shame is, “ I am bad.” I have dealt with shame my whole life, up until recently when the Lord showed me how He took my shame upon the cross. It was the joy set before Him that He endured the cross, despising it’s SHAME. Yet in this moment of vulnerability and weakness, shame tried to creep back in, yet this time I saw it coming. I’m so thankful for His Truth, and this day it came from this simple statement from my dear friend.
Have you ever hurt so bad or been so sick that you lose all sense of pride? Have you ever had to go so bad that you didn’t care about where it was at or who was around? I hope you’re beginning to understand the spiritual implications of this story. It’s so important to shift when the sh*t happens. Shift our perspective, shift our vision, shift our heart attitudes. It’s so important or else we’ll only focus on how deep the crap is around us, instead of what He’s doing inside us.
Can we see Jesus in and through all the sh*t? Whether it’s crap that’s been backed up in us or others, can we see Jesus through it or when we’re knee deep in it? Being in community, in family there will be times where the crap flies. True family will be right there in it with you. Family is a place where you can leave your crap and no one cares how bad it stinks, but they will be there to help you get Water, help you flush it away when you don’t have the strength. They will even cheer you on and see Jesus in the midst of it.
In our weakest and most vulnerable moments, can we extend grace to each other, even when it’s totally sh*tty? Can we actually bond over the sh*ts? From experience, I have to say, “Yes, an absolute YES!”
Honestly, the Lord speaks to me like this. I know it seems crazy. He actually has an incredible sense of humor. He taught me so much this day. He was so close to me, to us. I saw the body come together in such a way that makes my heart explode, as I reminisce. There may be places inside of us from our past that are backed up, places we didn’t know were even there and when it explodes, more than likely it will be messy. There may be lots to clean up initially, but I believe as we begin to release things we’ve held in for so long that it won’t be a blow out next time. There was so much grace poured out. Let us remember this the next time “sh*t happens.” Whether, it’s to us or others, let’s wrap them up in His grace, so they feel safe to let it all go. Here is where the healing begins, as we see Him.